Grab a snack this may take a minute……

Since March I have been back and forth on getting another dog. I had noticed Matcha and Moo have been very low key, melancholy like.
When Macchiato was here, they went outside more, played more, had more zest for life. I thought maybe they needed puppy energy in the house to brighten their day. I mauled this over for quite some time and chatted with some peeps.

May 25 I brought home a cute lil Corgi x Miniature Poodle. I named her Mabel.

Within three days her name was changed to Maple because H thought that is what I was saying when I called her Mabel. Dharma said it was a better name for her because she looks like she is covered in maple syrup and the rest of my pets have odd names. Mabel became Maple.

I realized Maple was very attached to me. She went where I went. Walking tight to my ankle, she quickly learned how to move with me so I didn’t kick her. Cried when she couldn’t see me. Always wanting to be touching me.

I felt fear and panic with how much Maple wanted to be with me. It broke me emotionally.

Maple always looked at me like this ⬆️ like she has heart eyes only for me. She just wants to be with me and snuggle.

As soon as I sat Maple on or near me she would fall asleep within minutes.

Out cold asleep, regardless of where we were or time of day. This picture ⬆️ was taken 20 minutes after we got up because I did not have it in me to deal with puppy energy at 4 am.

Her love for me made me feel sad and guilty. I felt like I was dishonouring the memory of Yeti by loving an animal that loved me as much as he did. Every time I would snuggle / hug / love her I instantly felt like a traitor. Left me with a burning ache in my chest. Tears in my eyes. Every. Damn. Time. I knew I was not the right person for her. I knew I could not love her as much as she loved me.

I listed her for sale. I contacted everyone I could think of to see if they knew anyone who wanted a teeny tiny puppy. It was a bust.

Six weeks with her living with me I had accepted that I would have a dog that I could not love the way she deserved. I had achieved what I was hoping for with Matcha and Moo. Puppy energy put a bit of pep in their step. Cheeto too. He had a playmate that was the same size as him that he could play rough with.

June 29 a tech (Stef) from my vets office called me. She told me that she hadn’t stopped thinking about Maple from when I brought Maple for a check up on June 2, and if I was still looking for a new home for Maple, she wanted her. Stef told me that her eight month old puppy recently passed away, he was very ill right from the time she got him and that her four year old daughter (we will call her L) wanted a puppy she could play with because L is very high energy and a puppy to snuggle / sleep with. L was very sad that she didn’t have this with her puppy because he was so sick for the short time they had him.

July 1 Stef and L came to meet Maple. L was very quick to play with Maple, an hour later Maple left with them to go to her new home. I asked Stef to send me pictures, a lot of pictures so H will see that Maple is with a good family.

Stef also told me that she was going to change Maples name back to Mabel because she loved it so much. 💕 This makes me very happy since that was the name I picked for her.

It breaks my heart that I was not able to love this lil ball of fur without feeling immense sadness. I am happy that she landed with a great family that can love her.

I will never forget the lil pup that made me realize that my heart is closed to loving another pet. She taught me that your heart really doesn’t have an infinite amount of love to give, sometimes a soul pet comes along and fills your heart so much, there is only room for the memory of the love you once shared.

And Christmas in July is just around the corner!!!!

Once upon a time, not so long ago, all of the above would be used to describe me.

I have;
Ten trees, each a different theme.
A Christmas village that requires Don to build a platform for it.
Show stockings to match one of my trees – with faux wrapped presents to match.
Vast collection of snow globes.
Decorative pillows that leave you with nowhere to sit.
Singing and dancing stuffies.
Christmas bedding – but it gets pulled off the bed to sleep. It is just “show” bedding (my mom made it for me).
Art that replaces family photos for the season.
Christmas cards from previous years that I framed. Which I can tell you who they came from without seeing the signature inside.
A (not so) ugly Christmas sweater for everyday in December.

My sister would describe my house at Christmas time “Looks like Santa threw up in here.” She meant it as an insult, I took it as a compliment.

I would be shopping the Boxing Day sales for the start of next years themed tree. I would start buying gifts immediately, I would see the perfect trinket, bob-bit or doo-dad for someone and stash it away. Sometimes I would forget what I bought and it would be a pleasant surprise in October when I took inventory.

I spent 25 + years being a Christmas Nut that starts decorating the day after Remembrance Day, with little to no help (Don will help bring the bins up from storage and take them back down). I loved going to the mall during peak holiday season. Not to shop, but to people watch. To hear the various Christmas carols coming from the stores, watch people hustle and bustle as if it was 5 pm Christmas Eve and the stores were closing and they didn’t have the perfect gift. Watching the kiddos visit the mall Santa and smiling to myself with his exuberant HO-HO-HOs.

In recent years, I go through the motions because it is expected of me. When Yeti died November 25, 2023 my Christmas spirit went with him. If my house hadn’t already been decorated, the trees would have never come out of storage.

Christmas 2024 Don and I took Dharma and her family to Disney so I could avoid all the holiday hub-bub. Yes, you read that right. I took my family to the happiest place on earth to get away from celebrating Christmas. Did it work? Sort of. Made me wish I could afford to do it every year. Not necessarily Disney, just a trip to avoid the Christmas season.

I have six months to hype myself up to be Christmas People. Six months to prepare myself to be physically and mentally exhausted from bringing the 50 + totes from storage and setting it all up, to tear it all done a month later.

Some would ask me “Why do it?” Simple. I have H who loves everything Christmas as I once did. Dharma would tell me “You created the Christmas Monster, you can’t stop now.” And Don would say “You have spent a hell of a lot of money on all this shit, it goes up until H outgrows it.”

I will spend the next six months watching TikTok’s of nostalgic Christmas videos, watch Hallmarks Christmas in July movies while having Cindy Loo-Who in my head singing “Where are you Christmas, why can’t I find you” all so H doesn’t lose her Christmas People vibe, while secretly hoping my vibe returns with the same jolly cheer as a mall Santa’s HO-HO-HO.

🎄🎅🏻🤶🏻🎁

The next few conversations are from when Don and I took H to British Colombia to visit Dons dad in May….

While we were in British Columbia we went up Grouse Mountain to walk around and see the bears. H spotted the bear first! Having a bath!

While we were walking around I was explaining to H that the mountain was so high we were in the clouds.
H – Are we high enough to be in heaven and see Macchiato?

It was really hard telling her that we can’t visit heaven, but if she talked to Macchiato, Macchi can hear her. 

Every morning on my drive to take H to school my sister, Stephanie calls to chat with H and me. Mostly H but once she’s at school I get to chat with my sister. One morning as I was driving and Stephanie was making her way out the door to go to work –

Stephanie – Alexa turn down the music.…. ALEXA turn volume down two. ALEXA! PLEASE turn the music done.
Me – Alexa listens well.
Stephanie – Alexa turn the music down. She is not listening today.
Me – That is because she is too busy eavesdropping on your conversations.
Stephanie – Why? So she can send me stuff to buy?
Me – Yes, that is exactly why.
Stephanie – pft.
Me – Just like your smart TV watches you.
Stephanie – nervously laughs.
H – 🦗🦗🦗
Stephanie – continues to nervously laugh.
H – Wait. Do we have a smart TV at my house?
Me – Yep!
H – So it sees me?
Me – Yep!
H – ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!??! I GET DRESSED IN THE LIVING ROOM SO IT SEES ME NAKED!
Me – YEP!
Stephanie – bursts out laughing – THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!
Me – I know you were. You were looking for a G rated way to say it.
Stephanie – still laughing – I WAS!

Driving home from picking H up from school.

Me – How was your day!?
H – Can I tell you something?
Me – ALWAYS!
H – There is no field trips at my school until grade three!! NONE! I need to go back to my old school. This sucks.
Me – 🤦🏻‍♀️

Another after school pick up…..

Me – So glad to see you! How was your day!?
H – Terrible.
Me – Oh tell me about it.
H – Once we are in the car.

I assume it has to do with a disagreement with a friend at recess. We get in the car.

H – Can I tell you about my terrible bad day?
Me – Yep.
H – Pasta day was today.
Me – Okay?
H – It was late so we had to go outside for recess and THEN come in to have lunch.
Me – 🤔 – Pasta being late made it a terrible bad day?
H – Yes.

Safe to say she was probably hangry and did not want to wait any longer for her pasta lunch.

H new hobby is to go out back and pick up dog poo… 🤦🏻‍♀️
Matcha (her protector) is never too far, keeping watch for coyotes…
Moo is just there to hangout and annoy H.

No clue of why I bought all the cereal. The chocolate almonds barely lasted a week…. I have ate most of them…. No shock there.

H is staying strong in her opinion.

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, I slept through the night. I slept so deep I swear I could have slept through a train going through the bedroom. Then…. I had a baby and never slept again. Not unless I had ear plugs in, or medicated myself. Maybe one day I will sleep again, unaided.

Nice of Jared to confirm Dharma was not dead…..