H and Dharma were eating dinner at the dining table and Don was working, I was standing beside H –

H – Gramma do you have a baby in your belly?
Dharma – snickers
Me – H you can go home now.
I walk to the kitchen.
Dharma – H you shouldn’t have said that.
H – What? I just if gramma had a baby in her belly.
Dharma – Man I hope not. H, how would you feel if gramma had a baby in her belly?
H – That would make me happy.

NOT. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.

H and I were driving back from her therapy ( it is thirty minutes away), we were stopping at the mall to go visit the rescue cats. She fell asleep with less than ten minutes to go. We arrived at the mall, normally she wakes up when the car stops, today she did not –

Me – H do you want to go see the cats or go home to bed?
H – with eyes still closed – Both.

I left her a couple of minutes to see if she would wake on her own –

Me – H, do you want to go home, have a rest and come back?
H – That’s a bad idea.
Me – So we are going in to see the cats?
H – YES LET’S GO.

And in to see the cats we went! She loves visiting them.

This is a pretty lengthy exchange between Dharma and I:

Time for two conversations at once…

Summary –
Yes I ordered the entirely same outfit TWICE. Good thing for nosey Dharma, I probably would have never caught it.
Don asked Dharma to get my flowers for Mother’s Day (since he is out West visiting his Dad), I traded it for breakfast out instead…..

I am in the middle of being a Gen X and a Millennial. I was raised by Baby Boomers, you know the “say as I do, not as I say” or “Because I said so” generation. The ones who complain that “these kids are going to be too soft if you keep talking about “emotions”, I didn’t talk about my feelings and I turned out fine….”

Did you? Did you turn out fine?
I didn’t talk about my feelings and I didn’t turn out fine, hell just ask my psychotherapist!

I recently stumbled across an interesting post on instagram, it is 10 slides long, but worth it, stick with me until the end.

Instead of yelling at the crying kid in the airport, his dad was calm and showed some compassion to help his son through a stressful time.

The world needs more of this.

When Dharma told me she wanted to parent differently then the way she was raised, I’m not going to lie, I got defensive, then I listened to what she wanted “gentle parenting’ all I thought was pft granola hippy parenting, what is next no electronics, at all?

I read about it. Once I finished the book, I wish I had read it when Dharma was little. I started implementing the various things that I read, getting down to eye level with H, validating her feelings, giving her breathing exercises and always offering a hug.

It is not always easy to keep your shit together when you are stressed out or in a rush, but it is worth it. For example, today H was sitting on the back of the couch and says “LOOK AT ME!” I knee jerk reacted and raised my voice and said “NO! GET DOWN! YOU ARE GOING TO GET HURT!” I instantly regretted raising my voice. H of course cried, I apologized for raising my voice and explained why I reacted the way I did. I then explained why she cannot sit on the back of the couch. We hugged it out and she was back to her happy self.

So the next time you see a young child having a meltdown and an adult at their level, instead of saying things like “ugh that crying kid needs a good smack” or “I wouldn’t take my kid out in public if it behaved that way” think of how much calmer, happier and loving that child will grow to be!

H loves going to the red dot store (Target) but I think it is because she walks out with bags of clothes, shoes and at least one new toy!

I had a bright idea that Don and I should invite my (senior) parents on vacation with us to Puerto Plata AND we would bring H too!

Fun right?!!?!?!? I thought it would be, but as we got closer and closer to our departure date I started to panic and thinking “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!?!?” And then I spiralled with every single scenario that could possibly go wrong….

We decided not to tell H that my parents were coming, just in case something happened and they didn’t end up coming. When we left our house to go to the airport, we went to my parents house to get them –

H – Why are we at granny’s? We are going to the airplane.
Me – Because granny and papa are coming on vacation.

Her face was stunned, like she couldn’t comprehend what I just said.

H – very slowly – Granny and papa are coming on vacation?!?! I am so excited!

H was very clearly excited to see my parents get in the car!

Don gets my parent’s luggage into the truck, and we start making our way to the airport. We are more than halfway there –

The trip was fun.
None of my worst case scenarios came true.
H and my parents had many laughs! Many memories were made for H to carry with her for a lifetime. ❤️
Would I take my parents and H on vacation again? Without a doubt!
I will always want to be a part of H making memories, and knowing that one day when she shares all the adventures she had has a child, I was there ❤️

Kids & Cats

H was taking her sock off –
Me – What are you doing?
H – giggles – I have an idea….

H kills me! ALWAYS wants to do something! lol – LOVE that Target is the “red dot store”

AND lastly, my week rounds out with….

I get home and see Don and Jared in the driveway –
Me – Your offspring is extorting me for three hundred bucks to rat you out for something you did / bought at Costco.
Don – That didn’t take long.
Jared – Wait, what?
Don – Dharma ratting me out about Costco.
Jared – But we JUST got home.
Don – Ya, she probably did it on the drive home.
Jared – laughs.
Don – You have no idea.
Jared – I’ll sell it to you for two – fifty.

Dharma has never been able to keep a secret. Until this year. A month ago Don told me he bought me concert tickets for my birthday and Dharma had to do it for him – she never told me.
How quickly she went from keeping secrets to monopolizing them. LOL

My Monday afternoon started with a standoff between H and me because I would not go upstairs OR let her go upstairs to see her suitcase. She sat like this ignoring me for a good 10 minutes.

When I got home Monday evening I popped into Dharma’s apartment to ask how their afternoon ice cream date with Dharma’s friends was, H got off the couch, marched over to me –

Me – How was your ice cream date?
H – Fine. Can I see my suitcase?
Me – Tomorrow morning when you come upstairs.
H – 🙄 Can me and mommy go drive my car?
(H has a power wheels car)
Me – Not right now, I have to charge the battery. I will do that tonight and have Gampa put the battery in tomorrow.
H – 😠 puts her headphones back, stomps back to the couch and lays down so I can’t see her.
Me – H are you all done talking to me?

I SHIT YOU NOT – the lil brat gave me a 👍🏻 – thumbs up!

Dharma and I look at H, look at each other and start to laugh –
Me – Well I guess she could have gave me 🖕🏻

🤣😂 I got told off by a four year old!

The cranky morning continues….

Convo’s with H continue…

When H sleeps at my house we have a bed time routine, run from one of the hall to her bed and “flop” on it. Multiple times. Read a book and then sing The Ants Go Marching. I will admit I don’t know the actual words, so I make them up.
That bit me in the ass.

And lastly, my kid is an asshole and clearly thinks I am very old